Westfield

Because the family have flocked to London from the U.S. and Canada this summer to meet Jasper (6 days old), we planned many West London baby activities for James (16 months old) over the summer.  After two full seasons of participation, James had disappointingly lost his place at the Water Babies swim school due to Water Babies' clerical errors (I have since learned that they have a terrible reputation in that area, so be warned!), and we needed something to fill the gap. 

So, as a family outing, my mother, father, baby Jasper, baby James, and Granpapa Collins piled into a black cab to embark on our day at Westfield.   It was a tight squeeze, but we managed to fit our Maclaren pram into the cab with us.

The Little Gym in Westfield won our business after we attended a free trial session one day.  James was able to run freely over the soft mats, and there is a good ratio of planned activities - sitting in a circle, shaking bells, etc - paired with gymnastics equipment usage.  We had tried out the baby "bugs" class when he was only six months old, and he enjoyed the interaction - although we do believe that the expense of the class is less worthwhile for young babies (we won't be signing baby Jasper up anytime soon!)

After the class, we had lunch at The Meat and Wine Company, a South African restaurant serving steaks, ribs, chicken, and a few vegetarian dishes.  Normally a bit pricey, the restaurant offers a superb lunch special of your choice of a main course and beverage (beer, wine, soft drink) for £10.  It is seldom crowded at lunch, and the great selection of bench seats makes it a great choice for taking your young baby.  Jasper, at 6 days old, slept beside me on the bench as my parents and I enjoyed our meal.  

Jabs!

The dreaded day arrived today:  that of the vaccinations.  James is turning one year old in a few days, and was due an assortment of vaccines.  Naively, I assumed that many of them would be combined into one shot - but, modern science doesn't seem to have progressed that far.  He was administered not one, not two, but three shots - two in one little thigh, and one in the other.  I had the glorious task of holding down the previously happy baby while he was tortured.  

Much like when I receive shots myself, I couldn't look.  And when we were done, and the nurse handed James a little sticker that said "I was brave today," I felt a pang of pride - for I probably felt braver than he did.  To willingly submit your little baby to pain for the good of their future is difficult indeed - and something that will arise again and again throughout parenthood, I have no doubt. And there won't always be someone handing me a congratulatory sticker at the end. 

Capturing memories - how important are they?

Most of us, whether we have kids or not, probably have a notion of what the "first steps" will be like.  The family is all gathered around the living room, the child clutching to the end of the table.  All at once, he takes his first wobbly steps away from the table, probably right in to the waiting mother's open arms.  All gathered family look proudly pleased.  The memory is captured on film, still photography, and the memories of the entire family.

This ridiculous notion must be burned - for first steps, and indeed for all "firsts."

Already, despite my best intentions, I've let a few milestones go.  The "baby book," into which I was going to record all of James' first events to the last detail, lies empty, dormant, and gathering dust.  Things I thought I would never forget - the day I stopped breastfeeding, the first night he slept on his own - have now disappeared into the cloud of "sometime around 9 months, or 3 months, or whatever."  I can barely even remember last night - did he wake up?  What did he eat?

And we haven't recorded as many videos as we intended.  We started out making one short 30-45 second video a day, which quickly lapsed into one a week.  We kept that up for about two months, at great effort.  At the present time, it's been about 4 months since the last video.

If you feel yourself in a similar situation, where day-to-day living takes priority over recording the present for posterity, take heart.  Last weekend, Brendan and I settled in to watch some of these old videos of the first few weeks of his life.  We went to one of my favourites - when James saw his first video game, and eagerly outstretched his hand to touch the moving figures.  We used to proudly observe how he reacted as we watched the video time and again.

Now?  The video is - let's be honest - completely boring.  James resembles a worm.  He has no facial reaction, and his fingers are shaky.  New edition James would be able to push this little one over, grab the game, and start laughing.

Recording the past may not be so important after all.  Do we longingly wish for our old computers from 2000?  No!  The new edition does all the previous tricks, and more.  Just like James.

So, take my advice, and record a few things every now and then.  But living is much more important than recording - and if you don't have the time to record now, how will you have the time to watch later?  

Nursery: Day 2

Today I spent 30 minutes at daycare with James, and then... left!  I walked down the street without a baby in my arms, feeling oddly... empty.  And free.  And relaxed.  I thought I would feel slightly guilty at leaving him, Instead, I felt... free!  I felt reassured that the nursery was, if not the most amazing place in the world, at least a safe place where James will be well fed and safely looked after.   There may be scuffs on the walls, and some of the toys may be a little worn, but there is usually a 2:1 baby to carer ratio, which means James will never be ignored for long.  I like the idea of little James as an independent entity, making his own way in the world. 

When I returned after two hours of errands to pick James up, he was just starting his lunch:  macaroni cheese and sweetcorn. One thing is certain:  James will not be ignored when he wants something.  If the daycare helper took too long between bites, James would begin a series of gutteral groans that were impossible to ignore.  I was proud of him for making his demands known. 

Maybe a slightly spoiled baby is a more resilient baby?   I never thought of James as "spoiled" before, but he has had a lot of undivided attention in his short life.  No wonder his little mind is used to it.  

Tomorrow: Day 3 of settling in.  And then, James is on his own!  

First day of day care

I may have been very slack so far in recording James' achievements in his baby book, but next Wednesday will be a landmark:  his very first full day at the nursery.  I can hardly imagine what it will be like to leave him in the little building across the street, and walk away for 7 hours.

Today was the first of a three day gradual settling in program.  It was relatively mild - 90 minutes, with me in attendance the full time.  Even so, we had a minor catastrophe only 10 minutes into his visit.  I was admiring the messy artwork created by some youngster, and while I was looking away, sweet little Celeste managed to whack James on the head with a plastic truck.  The attendant hurriedly put a cold compress on the bump.  The rest of the stay passed without incident, aside from James attempting to eat the paint off his paintbrush.  But clearly, we need to toughen our little boy up!

Hooray for baby videos

After I've played with James, fed him, cleaned his nappy, and given him naptime, I do what to some parents is unthinkable: I plop him in front of the television, mostly to watch the Baby Mozart videos.  While I don't honestly believe that these videos will turn the boy into a genius, he does genuinely enjoy watching them.  He waves to the little girl, he claps his hand occasionally, and if he's whimpering to start with, he stops as soon as I turn it on.

At a dinner party a few weeks ago, a couple proudly proclaimed that television watching undoubtedly gives children Attention Deficit Disorder.  To me, it seems it has the opposite effect - he is able to watch consistently, and pay constant attention to his play tasks as well.

The moral, as always, is this:  while we don't know what exactly is best for the children, if we really aren't sure, let's side with the activity that is in our best interest.  And for the busy mother, an occasional educational video certainly is.

Internet Consumer Blitz

I look enviously back on my pregnancy as a time of consumer bliss.  I went into each baby gear store with excitement and wonder, examining the clothes//prams/baskets/toys, and making careful considerations.  I researched everything, and, not wanting to be "one of those mothers" who end up with lots of things they don't need, decided to select only the most important items. I compared prices and brands, asked advice, made electronic wish lists for those friendly gift-givers who sought them out. Each purchase was a joy, each thing carefully stowed away for when it was needed. Friends gave me heaps of things, and I treated them with the same careful consideration, sorting by age and purpose.

Now, things have changed.  I find myself conducting a sort of consumer blitz on the things I need, somewhat like the television show "Supermarket  Sweep."  I tend to buy as much as I can, as fast as I can.

Example: Today, in James' music class, I saw how much he loved the rattles and drums.  And this afternoon, when home again with him, I found that he is now, at age 7 months, getting more easily bored.  He needs more entertainment.  So today I decided to commit complete attention to amusing him, rather than letting him play on his own, or just steering him towards the soft hanging toys with one hand and typing on my computer with the other.  (no judgement - you know you've done it too!) So, determined to pay attention to only him, I sang to him, clapped with him, created voices for his stuffed animals, lifted him in the air, walked with him, pointed things out in the room.  I checked my watch:  only 5 minutes had passed.  Gasp.

These two factors contributed to my rash decision, once James was in bed, to go to a toy website and buy a bunch of things that could help me musically entertain him.  But I didn't do price comparisons, or research. And of course I didn't consult my husband, as I would have done in the past.  I just chose a website that I thought might offer good educational toys, selected a few, and checked out.

I may have spent too much, or not got the best things, or (worse) bought a bunch of things that will serve only to clutter our apartment.  But it feels good knowing that in a few days time, a box will arrive with all kinds of colourful goodies (don't ask me which ones) for James to amuse himself with.

Ah, consumerism at its finest.  

Revenge of the nester

I learned today that I may well be paying for the well-intended nesting phase I went through while pregnant.  I'm currently applying to renew my United Kingdom visa.  Much paperwork and documentation is involved, including sending in all passports, old and new.  It is vital to have every piece.

Unfortunately, I couldn't locate my old passport - it was not in the space below the cupboard where I usually keep it.  While looking, I realised I had a vague recollection of storing it away somewhere last winter in an effort to "reduce clutter."  Clearly, the handiwork of a pregnant nester!

After ransacking my bedroom, office, and even nursery, I finally found the culprit.  It was lodged between books in a plastic bag labelled "old passports."  I'm sure that there must have been some logic in the place I chose, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it had been.  And now I wonder - what other lost objects did our well-meaning pregnant nester hide, that are never to be seen again?

My advice:  Don't give too much power to the nester.

The baby food wars: American vs Britain

As a reminder, I spent most of August at my parents' place in North Carolina.  James was about 5.5 months old when we arrived - a perfect time to start delivering food into the small baby's yob (and hopefully beefing him up in the process, for he was still lingering at the fifth percentile for weight! I was still trying not to panic, but a burst of weight gain would have been highly appreciated.)  Starting to feed him while at my parents' gave me the added "grandparental" bonus - someone else to shovel in the food.

I liked the idea of Baby Fed Weaning, as described in the book by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett; or at the very least puréeing the foods myself, but my lovely American mother convinced me to go ahead with the standard, store-bought purées.  I could see her point.  Why fiddle with either puréeing foods yourself, or dealing with potential danger, mess, and nuisance of a baby with very limited motor skills trafficking  unfamiliar objects into his mouth? The quality of purée has improved, she explained, and there's no shame in using them. And besides, I have trouble enough devoting time to cooking for my husband and me.

Time saved?  I was convinced.  And so mom and I sampled different purées from different stores - Target, local grocery stores, Toys R Us.  In the end, we most liked Gerbers' simple concoctions.  James's gag reflex seemed to have been triggered by some of the unusual mixtures produced by Ella's, but the handy toothpaste-like squirt package was great for travel.  Regardless of the type of food involved, James loved mealtimes, and never wanted them to end.

And four weeks later, here we are back in London and away from all parental influences.  While I'm planning on introducing both baby-led weaning and home made purées (really, I am),  I decided to first stock up on some store-bought foods.  An "emergency" stash.  I reached a surprising conclusion in my completely unprofessional study conducted on internet grocery store Ocado: British baby purees seem to be more meat-intensive than the American variety.  I hadn't considered that, just as McDonald's menus vary depending on country, baby foods change as well.  British adults eat loads of meat, so why not the babies?

I was a little surprised to see things like "Roast Lamb Dinner with all the trimmings," and "Chicken Pot Pie," but now babies can get used to the flavours they'll be eating throughout most of their lives.  It could even be argued that a baby has a better chance for a happy social life if he likes nationally-beloved foods*, such as hot dogs for Americans and black pudding for Irish.

While the concept worked, I was none too pleased with the gelatinous format of these meaty delicacies. The veggie flavours certainly seem to have a better consistency, although baby James the voracious eater devours them all equally quickly.  (Except, of course, for Ella's blueberry - tomato - grape - baby rice flavour that he almost spewed across the room.  Atta boy!)

*not a real study

Back from summer holidays, and into the pool!

James (now a proud 7 months old) and I officially returned from our summer holidays with the start of a new season - and different provider - of swimming lessons. 

As a reminder, when James was six weeks old, we began lessons with London Baby Swim. I was committed to starting young James as early as the courses would allow, mostly because one of the concepts that convinced me to enter the world of motherhood in the first place was an image of a tiny baby swimming alone unaided.  (and no, I did not take this idea from Nirvana's Nevermind album cover!)  This was the only course that took babies so young and was not already full.  The one drawback - and it's a big one - was that the course was located in Hounslow, nearly all the way out to Heathrow Airport.  For the 10 weeks of the course, I managed to drag myself and tiny baby James out to the course, each time using various combinations of taxis, buses, tubes, and rental cars, and often with baby James strapped to my chest.  It was a commitment.  The course was wonderful, but unsurprisingly I opted not to partake again in such an adventure.

And so, this time, I went through some hoops (including convincing the organisers that even though we had used a different provider the first time, James was indeed a qualified "beginner" baby, ready for the "intermediate" course) to start him with Water Babies.  Many things are similar about the two courses.  For one, the logistics involved are enormous.  Before entering the pool, the list includes (but is certainly not limited to)

1.  Packing up all the necessary things (my bathing suit, a disposable swimming nappy, James' outer "happy nappy" to prevent leakage, towels, dummies, breast feeding cover, etc etc)
2.  Managing to clamber into a cab or public transport with the baby and his gear without spilling anything or causing injury to the boy
3.  Squirming into a swim suit six weeks after giving birth while managing to avoid all mirrors
4.  Doing all the calculations involved in timing feeding and naps
5.  Navigating a new neighbourhood without getting hopelessly lost and rendering the entire class pointless

And then, we reach the pool.  For both classes, we were faced with a mad scramble.  We didn't want to get the babies in their swimsuits too early, for fear they would become cold and miserable, so there was no hope of starting early. Almost exactly 7.5 minutes before the class was to start, the mothers would spontaneously dash from the viewing area into the changing area and begin flinging the baby's clothes off, changing and clothing the baby, and getting ready themselves.  Amazingly, we remained good natured through the process, though always silently panicked.  (the post-swim process was infinitely worse than even this, as we were soaked, freezing, only partially clad, and dealing with hungry/tired/cold/wet babies.)

Basically, it's no wonder that after today's class, I am more exhausted than James.  The classes always involve lots of singing and torturous lifting-the-babies-into-the-air routines performed while we simultaneously spin around and walk in circles.  I did feel at times like a synchronised swimmer. 

But enough about me.  What was it like for the babies?  Was it all worth it?  It was indeed, and I can't wait to begin the torturous cycle all over again next week.  All four of the babies present in today's class laughed practically the whole time.  The songs and twirling may be monotonous to us, but it's like candy to the babies.  The highlight of today's lesson was donning a pair of goggles and a swim cap and going underwater, then seeing little wide-eyed James wafting towards me underwater after being released by the instructor.  When I brought him back to the surface, he looked completely calm, relaxed, and happy.  And safety is taught too:  By the end of the session, they knew to hold tightly to a horizontal bar (good life saving skills) when placed in front of it. 

It's hard for me at this point to determine which class is actually better.  We'll see again next week.