I've never been so into clothes. From the days of elementary school, when I never seemed to have the "cool" shoes (white Keds); to those of college, when the "designed-to-look-as-if-you-were-just-out-of-bed-but-really-had-fixed-your-hair-just-so" approach was, for me, genuinely unkempt; I've simply ignored most of fashion.
No more. After months of wearing a consistently diminishing assortment of clothes that will actually fit me, I now fantasise about wearing flattering clothes made for normal people. I dream of what it would be like to have a (relatively) flat belly, to actually have a chance of garnering a fleeting glance from an unknown male. I'm not looking for an affair; just a bit of a self-confidence boost that stems from the age-old goal of "looking good."
Already, I spend more time on my appearance than I did before. Part of this is a result of having so much more time during the day, but part of it is a result of genuinely wanting to be physically regarded as a woman. I wore white running shoes out the other day in the guise of "comfort," and was miserable.
I have little doubt that when I am actually within the realm of attempting to appear as a "yummy mummy," (competition is high in this category, mind you) my interest will have waned. But I do think I have developed a higher appreciation for my normal body. Going to the gym, eating well, buying new clothes... these previously somewhat tedious tasks now seem heavenly.
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