Cross-generational conflict

As I introduce a new generation into our family, I find myself thinking more than ever about the older generation: that of my grandmother (the baby's great grandmother.)  

Aside from the great divide in technological understanding, (ie, "there is no way grandma is ever going to start using email!") I am starting to realize that beliefs about raising children is the most controversial issue between us.  So much about the childrearing process has stayed the same across the decades:  no matter how much the world has changed, children still grow at the same physical pace as they did 50 years ago.  

Yet, a vital underlying philosophy of early child rearing has changed.  Today, childcare experts and classes recommend that babies be held, cuddled, and given as much love as possible.  "There is no way to spoil a young baby," writes childcare expert Dr. Spock. 

Many in the older generation would strongly disagree.  The divide has become so shockingly great that it seems that my greatest fears for new little James are directly opposite the greatest fears of my grandmother.   Above all else, I want to make James feel loved and adored.  James has met grandma twice in his week-long life, and both times, she cautioned strongly against cuddling him unnecessarily.  She sternly advised I not go to him today as he cried during our lunch.  I did anyway.  When I see him, I see a little creature who has been on the earth for only a week, and has no idea what anything is.  When she sees him, I believe she sees layers of intelligence and planning that I cannot possibly imagine are yet present.  

According to the fourth trimester theory, babies in the first three  months of life are, in terms of development, essentially still in the womb.  They need little more than to be cuddled, carried and fed.  It is only starting at six months or so that babies can learn to be manipulative.  

Now, demonstrating the confidence I feel after 1 week of parenting, compared to grandma, who has raised five children and has been a mother for 60 years, is quite a challenge...